We are what we believe we are..

Throughout the course of your life, mostly when you were growing up, you sucked in information into your subconscious mind just like a sponge sucks up water. You picked up snippets of conversations, comments, media stories, family values and teachings from your family, peers and the people around you, ultimately creating the world you see from within your mind today. Limiting beliefs that we hold about ourselves and the world around us can lead to limiting behaviours in response. To get to know your true-self, it is important that first you are able to identify which of these self-limiting beliefs are contributing to your lack of self-worth, the feelings of not being good enough as you are.

As we grow, our subconscious minds grow with us. This part of the mind is in charge of over 95% of our daily actions and thought patterns. It controls the beliefs about the world that we hold and the stories that we tell ourselves. Your subconscious mind is vastly powerful!

It comes as no surprise when you see the way the media influences us today that so many of us have subconscious beliefs that tell us that we are not quite acceptable as we are.

A passing comment about your new dress that you took the wrong way, a magazine article about a new diet that created a feeling of guilt or shame about your body shape, a lifetime of hearing people judge you and others on their weight—these have all been stored up, repeatedly strengthened over the years and harbored for so long that you now believe that is a hard fact that you are not good enough as you are.

Whatever you think about most, your subconscious mind will strengthen, just like paths in a field. The well-worn and troddendown paths are the easiest and most likely paths to take; the most common thought patterns that you have in your mind become the easiest ones to repeat. Many of these will be the exact same thoughts you had yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that.

These thoughts and beliefs that exist within your subconscious mind ultimately determine how you live, what you think, what you believe you can and can’t do, what decisions to make and what you hold true about the world around you. Your subconscious mind likes to be proven right so it will readily search outwardly for confirmation of what you already believe to be true. Hence, we often seem to be attracted to the same type of experience, people and feelings repeatedly over the course of our lives. You are subconsciously seeking out affirmations which conform to the beliefs you already hold. Your subconscious acts like your own internal Sat Nav; its job is to keep you on the path that it already knows. In other words, it’s directing you continuously back into your comfort zone. Whether that comfort zone is useful, true or beneficial to you, it doesn’t care. It’s just believing what you have taught it to believe, like a mirror reflecting back to you the thoughts you have fed it. Your subconscious cannot distinguish between what is real and what isn’t.

Of course, this can create massive problems when your subconscious beliefs are all to do with how you are not worthy enough, not slim enough or not pretty enough. Because of how your subconscious mind works, if you were to try and show up for the rest of your life as your true-self, without first exploring ways in which you can change these beliefs, you might find it difficult because you would effectively be going up against your own subconscious beliefs that tell you the protection of a false-self is needed in order to be accepted. Your subconscious will continue to run the scripts that have convinced you that you are not good enough, thus making it hard for you to ever really achieve, or enjoy, the process of releasing the subconscious shackles that are holding you back in your life.

Did you choose your identity consciously, or is it the sum total of what other people have told you, significant events in your life, and other factors that occurred without your awareness or approval? If you were to begin to define yourself differently, in a way that’s more empowering an accurate for who you are today, how would you describe who you’ve become?  Tony Robbins.

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High Ticket Overload

Good golly, now I know what it is that I’m missing. I’ve just had a lightbulb moment. Check it out. I need to watch this webinar that’s just appeared on my newsfeed about “how to attract more high ticket clients”, yes this will tell me what I need to do, so much more than that last one I watched about the same thing…..and the one before that, and the one before that, and the one before that.

Because *this* one is THE one. It promises to show me a secret formula to tripling my business in a month, it promises to tell me what I’ve been doing wrong alllllll this time and WHY I am not a multi-billionaire #hashtag laptop-beach-blessed entrepreneur yet.

It PROMISES to tell me alllll the secrets! I just need to invest this ginormous sum of money to find out what those secrets are! And then I’ll be able to double that ‘investment’ I made because I’ll then sell that info on to someone else after, and then they will double theirs, and then they will double theirs…

Hum? What? Oh man, no way. This is in no way similar to the scams of the MLM ‘nutrition’ variety, no way, it’s different. Totally different.

Tumbleweed moment.


15 years ago personal training as a career was only just on the rise, it certainly wasn’t a path that was seen as common, or easy, because most people still associated personal trainers as ex-army instructors who just trained rich celebrities. It’s great that it has evolved so much. But off the back of it becoming so saturated, things have started to implode.

Five years ago if I was speaking to someone who was talking about becoming a coach (or an instructor as it should be called for at least the first two years of a trainer’s career) I’d whoop for joy and respond with nothing but encouragement and helpful hints on where to start. These days though my reaction to someone who is telling me “I am going to quit my job and become a coach!” is entirely different. It’s met with more of a sigh, a raise of an eyebrow and a question back to them that asks “why?”, this is usually answered with “I just want to help people!” which is great, because truthfully we all got into this industry to help people. So what is my problem? Why do I dash these young un’s hopes with my less than enthusiastic reaction? Well, there are two reasons.

The first is that I just feel that the health and fitness industry doesn’t need any more ‘noise’, it’s already full to the rafters of coaches who all think they know the ‘best’ way to health. There are hundreds of thousands of them out there with more falling off the production line every single day, all fighting in the pit trying to be heard over everyone else. Constantly trying to come up with ways in which to make their voice unique, often meaning that things get elaborated or – even worse – fabricated just to get their voice herd above the waves. It has become seen as some kind of fast tracked route to becoming a world wide inspiration, internet starlet and social-media-famous, and to experience anything less as a coach results in you being made to feel as though you are failing at life.

The turnover of personal trainers at commercial gyms is astonishing, very rare do you see one stick in one location for more than six months. Because they quickly get disillusioned by the job as they are forced to ‘walk the floor’ and sell themselves in order to find new clients, whilst having to plough through twenty sessions in a week before they even start to begin turning any kind of profit. It’s crap. Yes. But it’s called “honing your craft”. Working with Mavis who just wants to improve her fitness a bit by using the recumbent bike is a whole lot less glamourous that the trendy Insta-famous performance coaches would have you believe is the new industry norm.

And now…..we now have a new wave of industry ‘noise’ that is taking the coaching industry by storm. Introducing to you the new kid on the block; the coach *slash* entrepreneur.

With daily webinars launching all over Facebook promising you the secret of how to attract ‘high ticket’ clients, how to make six figure months into the new norm or learn how a new eCourse is all you need to up-level your mediocre business into a fortune 500.

Every other post on my newsfeed is trying to convince you that you need to grab this highly valuable ‘opportunity to invest’ NOW, and by forking out a vast sum of money you will then be able to pick up the creme de la crème of clients who will then clamber over themselves to pay you vast sums of money.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the PRESSURE dome.

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I think it’s fab that we are living in a time when it has never been a more acceptable time to want to follow your dreams. These days it seems that everyone is trying to find their passion. And it looks to be the fitness industry that is encouraging most of it. I don’t know if it was the whole ‘fitspiration’ movement that started it but it seems that everyone who has ever been a personal trainer now wants – and expects – to become a world rocking, seven figure making entrepreneur overnight, and wants to help YOU to do the same.

There are gazillions of adverts appearing on Facebook every day that promise to help you secure multiple passive income streams, triple your business in six months, make six figures a month and become part of all the hype. It plays on our FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) something rotton, “but what if they DO know something that I don’t? I will just do this last one to make sure..”

These days I embrace FOMO and am able to turn it into the JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out), I love standing on the outskirts just doing my thing without that constant fear nagging at me to follow the crowd. Everything that I’ve been successful at has been because I followed my gut and spoke my truth, even it it meant standing up and walking in the opposite direction of everyone else.

I have a positive relationship with money, I like it, it’s enables us to do cool stuff and have fun experiences. But what I don’t have a positive relationship with is the resulting insinuations that a coach in this industry whom isn’t earning a small fortune every month is doing something wrong, and more so, that it’s easy-peasy for every coach to achieve. The vast pots of money that get talked about from this side of the industry is nearly always in the area of ‘coaches coaching coaches’, very rarely have I seen examples where a six figure coach has made that six figure income off the back of actually working with personal training clients or even nutrition coaching with normal, everyday clients.

There are a few exceptions. There are some people who have become extraordinary successful off the back of them being a fantastic coach, and quite rightly too, they should reap that success of being so good at what they do. Just as there is in ANY industry, there are always handfuls of hugely successful examples. But for every one of these there are gazillions of folks who are just being lead up the garden path by being taught that all they need to do is to learn a new sales strategy. The people who make up the exceptions to the rule did so because of who they are.

I’m convinced that one day in the future we’ll see that the majority of coaches trying to target their services to other coaches, who will then just sell their services to coaches, who will then just sell their services to coaches, who will then only ever use what they learnt to serve other coaches……

There seems to be something missing. Hmm.

Oh, I know. Clients.

We will have an extraordinary amount of ‘high ticket’ coaches out there, all thrashing about in the vast ocean of the fitness industry trying to get to the maybe 3 or 4% of clients who are actually prepared to spend the bulk of their salary on hiring a coach. Those who spend the money, those who do purchase the ‘high ticket’ options tend to be coaches themselves, hence why the ‘coaches coaching coaches’ is such a successful cycle. WHY? Because every coach out there is falling prey to the temptation of wanting the same kind of results as the nutritional “quick fixes” we slag off so much, the ‘success stories’ that are everywhere about how “Shirley went from making £3 a week to £300,000 a day in just 5 DAYS using my secret formula” are akin to the before and after ‘shocking weight loss’ images from Herbalife adverts.

Hear me when I say this, I am the first person to be on your side if you say that you want to follow your dreams, live your passion or go forth and change the world, I am a total advocate of reaching for the stars. Heck, I do!! But at the same time I can’t help be worried that with this trend of ‘high ticket’ entrepreneurship side of coaching we are setting more and more people up for yet MORE opportunities to fail, by encouraging it so readily and as if it’s openly available for all it is resulting in coaches spending more time trying to sell than coaching. Leading so heavily with the dream of this opportunity to earn mega bucks I feel is just a bad idea for the industry itself and for the people coming into it.

Although I know some may disagree, chances are that you won’t be able to create an income to rival Tony Robbins if you aren’t one of the best in the field at what you do. To insinuate to every single coach that earning £10,000 a month is the industry norm more often deflates than inspires once it becomes clear that isn’t going to be as easy as suggested. More often than not the months or even years spent focusing on earning anywhere near that income without first having something of that value to sell (i.e unbelievably good) will only result in exhaustion, disappointment and increased debt as you keep ‘investing’ in these new, sparkly programmes promising to tell you what you are doing wrong and why people aren’t buying from you.

It’s a vicious circle, one I have once been trapped in myself along with many others I know in the industry.

If I talk to a new coach in the industry and they have asked me what I would recommend they do to help their business progress, I’ve always said by far and away the main thing to focus on is YOU improving what you do. Find something you like, a specific area, a niche, and then get show-stoppingly good at it. Or, as Cal Newport suggests, get so good at what you do that they simply can’t ignore you. Enjoy the journey of actually doing the job and mastering the art of what it is that you want people to buy. Then you can stomp about and command all the five figure gigs and high ticket prices you want and chances are at that point you won’t need a funky new coach to help you figure out how to get people to pay you for it, they just will.

Peace out friends,

Heather x

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The Power of My Belief

The first time a client actually cried on me because she couldn’t see her abs was a prominent moment for me. She was lean, she was way below 20% body fat and had a figure many women would wish for. She just didn’t have visible abs. And that simple little fact right there, that she couldn’t see those small little lumps poking out, was enough to warrant not just a bit of a hissy fit, but actual tears.

This moment was monumental for me. But, as a coach – what do you do?


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You’re either with us or against us!

I recently heard about a little girl being bullied, the daughter of someone I know. She’d been called “fat” by another girl who lived on her road. She is 5. Yes, FIVE.YEARS.OLD and most certainly not fat, even if she was, should a 5 year old even understand what it means to be called “fat”?

Kids can so cruel, but to be fair they are often just repeating what they have learnt from the elders around them, somewhere in her 5 short years she had been taught that a) to be skinny is good and b) to judge (and bully) other girls on how they look is normal.

Cue that very first seed planted, for the rest of her entire life she’ll be believing “I don’t look good enough as I am”.

Not just for the girl on the receiving end, this is a seed planted in both of the girls – to be the judger or the judgee, the effect is the same.


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Please Miss, can I have some more?

What is it about being a woman that sees us feeling the need to have permission for everything we do?

We are “allowed” to eat a piece of cake so long as our friends do too. We can’t be the only one to say yes or we fear being seen as greedy.

We are “allowed” take a day off from the gym so long as our husband / coach / friend confirms to us that’s ok to not work out today. If we dared to make that choice ourselves, we’d spend the day feeling guilt ridden and lazy.


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When I was a little girl

From a very early age we told certain things by our parents. It’s common to hear the words “You can be anything you want to be!” when listening to conversations between parents and kids, as they begin to express thoughts and aspirations about what they want to do in the world. An air of innocence gets crossed with solid determination as they are start to think about what they want their mark on the world to be.

This is the most precious time, this is when the soul is still alive and free and it’s at that point in life where literally anything can happen to change the path they lead for the next 70 odd years. It’s exciting. The subconscious belief patterns laid down within the first 10-15 years of a child’s life will reflect on them forever.


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When You Had The Chance…

“Have you ever sailed across an ocean, Donald? On a sailboat surrounded by sea with no land in sight, without even the possibility of sighting land for days to come? To stand at the helm of your destiny?

I want that one more time.

I want to be in the Piazza del Campo in Siena, to feel the surge as ten racehorses go thundering by.

I want another meal in Paris at L’Ambroisie  in the place des Vosges.

I want another bottle of wine and then another.

I want the warmth of a woman in the cool set of sheets.

One more night of jazz at the Vanguard.

I want to stand on summits and smoke Cubans and feel the sun on my face for as long as I can.

Walk on the Wall again.

Climb the Tower.

Ride the River.

Stare at the frescos.

I want to sit in the garden and read one more good book.

Most of all I want to sleep. I want to sleep like I slept when I was a boy.

Give me that. Just one time.

That’s why I won’t allow that punk out there to get the best of me, let alone the last of me.”


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The Smoke & Mirrors of Obsession

“I attended a summer camp with this little stick of a girl…Twila Stansberry.

Hell of an athlete….captured the flag.

Had an unrelenting passion for fitness.

But she was never skinny enough…..a pound here, a pound there.

Ran like a deer.

Until she couldn’t ….could barely walk.

Turns out she was anorexic.

The disease caused her to lose her sight.

I’ve never known anyone more obsessed with her body than Twila . 

Spent her entire life chasing something that destroyed her.

Make sure your passion isn’t your sickness.” (more…)

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Live Today As If You Liked Yourself

What would it mean to live a day as though you liked yourself?

We are in so much hate with ourselves these days. You may disagree with this idea, but I bet your thoughts would tell you different. Imagine if I gave you an internal tape recorder for a week to tape your internal dialogue, then asked you to play all your negative self-thoughts back to yourself before you went to sleep each night, I bet it’d be pretty harsh.

It sucks. So, how have we got like this? The promotion of peace, love and kindness builds around us externally as we all constantly give our opinion on how the love seems to have been lost in our world. We say the words and we tell ourselves that we mean it, we pat each other on the back and share the inspiring “be you” quotes and memes, but then just continue on this self-hate destruction path secretly, with no one knowing that our thoughts towards ourselves are still full of hate..


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