We are what we believe we are..

Throughout the course of your life, mostly when you were growing up, you sucked in information into your subconscious mind just like a sponge sucks up water. You picked up snippets of conversations, comments, media stories, family values and teachings from your family, peers and the people around you, ultimately creating the world you see from within your mind today. Limiting beliefs that we hold about ourselves and the world around us can lead to limiting behaviours in response. To get to know your true-self, it is important that first you are able to identify which of these self-limiting beliefs are contributing to your lack of self-worth, the feelings of not being good enough as you are.

As we grow, our subconscious minds grow with us. This part of the mind is in charge of over 95% of our daily actions and thought patterns. It controls the beliefs about the world that we hold and the stories that we tell ourselves. Your subconscious mind is vastly powerful!

It comes as no surprise when you see the way the media influences us today that so many of us have subconscious beliefs that tell us that we are not quite acceptable as we are.

A passing comment about your new dress that you took the wrong way, a magazine article about a new diet that created a feeling of guilt or shame about your body shape, a lifetime of hearing people judge you and others on their weight—these have all been stored up, repeatedly strengthened over the years and harbored for so long that you now believe that is a hard fact that you are not good enough as you are.

Whatever you think about most, your subconscious mind will strengthen, just like paths in a field. The well-worn and troddendown paths are the easiest and most likely paths to take; the most common thought patterns that you have in your mind become the easiest ones to repeat. Many of these will be the exact same thoughts you had yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that.

These thoughts and beliefs that exist within your subconscious mind ultimately determine how you live, what you think, what you believe you can and can’t do, what decisions to make and what you hold true about the world around you. Your subconscious mind likes to be proven right so it will readily search outwardly for confirmation of what you already believe to be true. Hence, we often seem to be attracted to the same type of experience, people and feelings repeatedly over the course of our lives. You are subconsciously seeking out affirmations which conform to the beliefs you already hold. Your subconscious acts like your own internal Sat Nav; its job is to keep you on the path that it already knows. In other words, it’s directing you continuously back into your comfort zone. Whether that comfort zone is useful, true or beneficial to you, it doesn’t care. It’s just believing what you have taught it to believe, like a mirror reflecting back to you the thoughts you have fed it. Your subconscious cannot distinguish between what is real and what isn’t.

Of course, this can create massive problems when your subconscious beliefs are all to do with how you are not worthy enough, not slim enough or not pretty enough. Because of how your subconscious mind works, if you were to try and show up for the rest of your life as your true-self, without first exploring ways in which you can change these beliefs, you might find it difficult because you would effectively be going up against your own subconscious beliefs that tell you the protection of a false-self is needed in order to be accepted. Your subconscious will continue to run the scripts that have convinced you that you are not good enough, thus making it hard for you to ever really achieve, or enjoy, the process of releasing the subconscious shackles that are holding you back in your life.

Did you choose your identity consciously, or is it the sum total of what other people have told you, significant events in your life, and other factors that occurred without your awareness or approval? If you were to begin to define yourself differently, in a way that’s more empowering an accurate for who you are today, how would you describe who you’ve become?  Tony Robbins.

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It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like….

…that time where we seem to use “f!ck it!” as our staple answer to everything. As we dive head first into the family sized tin of celebrations whilst eyeing up the fairy cakes on the next desk whilst thinking about what’s for tea and wondering if it’s acceptable to have Prosecco every night because… it’s nearly Christmas!

I myself was to be found eyeing up the Sherry bottle last night, with a chocolate liquor already in my mouth and another one in my hand ready to go.

But as you may know I would never, ever deny any client a choccie, a slice o’ cake or a good guzzle of Prosecco, because every single one of these things can be included into a healthy, balanced and flexible diet. In fact you are more likely to see long term success in health, vitality and weight management if you DO include your naughty-list foods every now and again, than if you attempt to abstain completely. But please, for the sake of your future self, please, please don’t be bamboozled by the voice. The one inside your mind that is using the “I’ll just start in January” bargaining argument right about now.

I’m asking you this because after seventeen years as a coach witnessing this cycle over and over and over again, I know what it will lead to…

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The Master of Change..

As you may or may not know, I have spent the last 16 years – my entire career in fact – working as a coach in the fitness and nutrition industry, which was totally amazing and as I’ve written about so many times, I loved every minute of it (most minutes..) and worked my ass into the ground for it. However, things changed a lot for me in the last few years. I went through a huge transition as a coach, had a mini-meltdown (or meltdown-SS I should say) that if you followed or knew me then you may or may not have had the pleasure in witnessing! I burnt-out, lost faith in the industry, wanted to quit, cried a lot and basically realised that what I was doing just wasn’t fitting right with me any more. Subsequently, I stood back, reassessed, and decided to go back to school again to become a student of psychology, I just knew that there was so much more needed in order to truly help my clients than these diet plans and training programmes I’d become so stifled by, and as a result, I also began to completely change how I worked as a coach.  So as a consequence of that one, incredibly busy, and slightly (well, a lot) scary year, here I am having now settled into a more specific area of coaching, an area that has become my ‘niche’ so to speak, and that is mindset coaching. So naturally, people have been asking me about what this means.

Well, your mindset is built from the beliefs that you hold about yourself, and these beliefs hold the key to absolutely everything in your life: what you do, what you don’t do, why you do what you do, why you can’t do what you want to do, why you think you shouldn’t do something and why you think you should.

 

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The Power of My Belief

The first time a client actually cried on me because she couldn’t see her abs was a prominent moment for me. She was lean, she was way below 20% body fat and had a figure many women would wish for. She just didn’t have visible abs. And that simple little fact right there, that she couldn’t see those small little lumps poking out, was enough to warrant not just a bit of a hissy fit, but actual tears.

This moment was monumental for me. But, as a coach – what do you do?

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You’re either with us or against us!

I recently heard about a little girl being bullied, the daughter of someone I know. She’d been called “fat” by another girl who lived on her road. She is 5. Yes, FIVE.YEARS.OLD and most certainly not fat, even if she was, should a 5 year old even understand what it means to be called “fat”?

Kids can so cruel, but to be fair they are often just repeating what they have learnt from the elders around them, somewhere in her 5 short years she had been taught that a) to be skinny is good and b) to judge (and bully) other girls on how they look is normal.

Cue that very first seed planted, for the rest of her entire life she’ll be believing “I don’t look good enough as I am”.

Not just for the girl on the receiving end, this is a seed planted in both of the girls – to be the judger or the judgee, the effect is the same.

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Live Today As If You Liked Yourself

What would it mean to live a day as though you liked yourself?

We are in so much hate with ourselves these days. You may disagree with this idea, but I bet your thoughts would tell you different. Imagine if I gave you an internal tape recorder for a week to tape your internal dialogue, then asked you to play all your negative self-thoughts back to yourself before you went to sleep each night, I bet it’d be pretty harsh.

It sucks. So, how have we got like this? The promotion of peace, love and kindness builds around us externally as we all constantly give our opinion on how the love seems to have been lost in our world. We say the words and we tell ourselves that we mean it, we pat each other on the back and share the inspiring “be you” quotes and memes, but then just continue on this self-hate destruction path secretly, with no one knowing that our thoughts towards ourselves are still full of hate..

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It’s All About Feeling Awesome! As Long As Awesome Looks Good In The Photos…

I know I know, you are already thinking “Ah man, not another weight-loss-club bashing blog” and yep I wouldn’t blame you if you were, there are tonnes of blogs out there calling out these clubs / supplements / fad-type-diets, every day. So, yep I get it, you don’t need to see another one telling you what you already know.

However, my blog is still about these clubs. But not JUST these clubs, I’m also going to include every other weight loss promoting diet/club/PT out there as well.

About 5 years ago I recall I got shouted at by someone I was learning from, I uttered the words “weight loss” and I was chastised for not instead saying “fat loss” to be specific. Since then this fat loss message seems to have spread ten fold and it seems to have been lapped up and made into FB meme’s and PT straplines all over the shop.

Great, this is great – truly it is.

But I just don’t believe that it’s really sunk in. Or, rather – it HAS sank in, but continues to be contradicted again and again……by the folks who said it in the first place.

Confused? Bear with me and read on..

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The two most powerful words…

By now you know I talk a lot about self-esteem, self-belief and living non-apologetically as our true selves. It’s something I’m supremely passionate about. Everyone I come into contact with, I wish to ignite a new spark of self-belief within them. That is my mission in life, to get to the core of YOU and to help you to realise how awesome you are.

When doing any self-esteem work with clients, the first thing we look at is the disconnection of external objects of worth.

We all get stuck in these patterns of believing that there is something that we have to have / be / acquire / or become, before we can accept ourselves fully. Whether it’s a possession, a habit, or a certain “thing” that we attach to, whatever that is, we convince ourselves that it represents our worth as a person, and only once we get that thing will we be able to feel that true internal acceptance.

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